Today I came home from work for the first time into my place and I loved it. I walked in through the door and I left my shoes in the cupboard at the entrance, hanged my coat and my bag on the over the door hanger and then got into the bedroom, changed from my work clothes into my house clothes – by taking out and putting everything into its place – and I knew where everything is (very different to having your stuff lying all over the room because of un-packed boxes and trying to get ready for work).
Had a vegetable stir fry not having to worry too much about anyone else – in this case, my boyfriend eating or not – and if he is eating, what is he eating – am I going to crave it even though I know it is bad for me, is he ever going to eat properly or just continue like this…. On and on and on… my head was booming with thoughts, and worries, and un-certainties and me, him, us, the future, the past, and everything else in between…. How the hell am I supposed not to be stressed?!?!
Now, being on my own, I am having none of that. Still in a relationship with him, but just away.
The shower that followed after dinner was the most perfect shower I have hed in years. Not having to worry about the hot water running out as the apartment block has a communal hot water area, I took ages. Just because I can. And all my shampoos and conditioners and everything else was right there, in front of me, I didn’t have to search for it all over and around the bathtub margins, where I could find a spot to fit one it. Got a shower caddy and I am loving it. Also, you can adjust the shoer height, which seems little, but to me, it is one of the most important things in a shower. As I am constantly wanting various heights for my water – when I rinse my hair, I want it up, when I want my conditioner to settle in, I want the water on my body but in such a way that water does not go into my hair. And before I was having to go backwards and forwards and hide from the water and then go in to rinse and so on… none of that, is was up and down and up and down with the shower all the time.
Getting out of it was again perfect, as my hair towel and my body towel were at the same height as I am getting out of the shower, plus a dressing gown was waiting for me on the same over the door hanger. The place that I am in is nice and warm, as I hate getting out of the shower and being very cold or just feeling the heat coming out of the radiator. None of that again…. The temperature was soo perfect…
I have no sofa, just a bright green carpet, very fluffy, like grass. A blue bean bag and a red cushion, like for a dog…. And I love lying on the floor. I just love it.
And I love living in my new place. Everything here I have done – as it came unfurnished and I havew done it my way. And I am loving it.
I know I am crazy and I am getting myself worked up for nothing, but I just cannot help it. I don’t like being worked up either. In fact, I hate it. But I do get like that very easily and for the smallest of things. I just like things to be perfect. I like them to work, to be logical and to effective for the purpose they were created. I always have been very good in finding the right way and the best way to do things. And a lot of people don’t. And I just get stressed out. Like a silly girl that I am.
For now, stay awake and stay thinking!
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