So moving in hey?

Me and P will be moving in. He has found a new job in Leeds, so we have found a place in the city centre, for him to easily communte to the train station.

I am scared of all the things that can go wrong. It is only because I really want us to work and with moving in, it will be make or break, there's no going back.

I am afraid we will get into a routine - one of thouse routines that is bad, that you simply hate and cannot belive you are still rolled up in it. I am afraid of being dead bored with him after a while. Not that he is not intelligent enough to keep me entertained - because he is, of all the people, he definitely is - but because even though I want us to work now, if I lose my interest, then I will not care if we go down the hill like a rolling ball. I will just sit and watch it happen. because I won't have the drive to do anything about it.

I am afraid he will get bored of me and hate me more and more every day. Then, he will lose the interest and will to put time and effort into the relationship - relationship that I sometimes do think that I have put together, but he is certainly holding together. I know I would not be able to.

I am also terrified we will lose our passion. We are so much in love now and just want to be near eachother, and miss eachother and just simply enjoy eachother's company. We have this great energy and chemistry that I don't want to lose because I simply do not know how to get it back.

I am worried that we will fade away with all the small things that moving in brings - like different bed times, very different foods that we eat, him being messy and just a boy really, different cultural things like eating at a table or speaking during dinner time... They sound insane, but if the small things are put togther, they become one big monster under the cover. Bo-hoo!

I really want us to work. For the first time in my life, I really, actually do. I know it's just for this moment and maybe that will change tomorrow when I just want to escape, but those are my own monsters to deal with. I am just going to hold on to this moment, right here.