Leaving a job

So.... I 've left. No more work now for at least a week. My last day was really hard - with so many people coming so say good bye and wish me well. I only told 4 people out of the entire place and at 2pm I sent a goodbye e-mail to about 40-50 people that I have closely worked more with on various projects throughout the past 2 years.

Some called, some were very surprised cause I hadn't told them, some stopped by and congratulated me in person. I have had really nice words from some unexpected people, some funny words and encouragement, as well as genuinely being sad due to me leaving.

I hate goodbyes and that is why I have kept it such a secret. After 4pm I packed all of my remaining stuff and around 5:10pm, I was alone in the office, had one look, turned off the lights and shut the door behind me. 2 years of my life have now gone.

I went out with the girls in Harrogate after that and had such a nice time. I don't know if I would have made it sane from that place without them, but I will forever be grateful for their jokes, and nice spirit, banter and sincere hearts.

I felt a bit nostalgic, I was a bit scared - jumping into the unknown from such a comfy job that nobody would ever kick me out of. Now going to play with the big boys into the commercial world, where competition and being the best are most important. And thank god for that.

It is just that human feeling of hanging on to things that are known, things that are familiar and cannot go wrong. The unknown creates a bit of anxiety - which in small quantities is highly regarded as it produces the adrenaline that keeps you going.

I am scared but really excited about my new job, a new beginning into a life where you are happy with your job, with where you are and about what the future will bring. A life where you accept yourself a bit more because you life is on the right track. I wonder how that myth will unravel itself in the real life. I guess I just have to wait and find out on my own.