second day at work

Second day at work – exhausted. Due to the sheer amount of information intake. Due to driving around house hunting. Due to coming back home – which is the B&B in a field for now – and realizing you haven’t got any food, so drive again to the nearest supermarket . Which is miles away in the closest smallest village.

I feel I am lost in the bloody middle of nowhere!

But the people there are simply amazing. Helpful, nice, professional, funny, human and with simple common sense. People who are happy with what they do. People who are not miserable every day. People who do their work and people who don’t hate being in their own lives. Just normal people at their best. But because I have been into such a bad environment for so long, I have even forgot how it feels.

And I felt so small, so stuck in my ways, so dumb today. Their information system of data storing and forecasting is so massive and so overwhelming that I just simply felt overwhelmed. And tomorrow I am supposed to work with it.

I am scared to bits that I am not going to be able to do well. Or do great. I can’t having myself doing well, I need to be excellent, I want to surprise them by being soo good, but for now I feel a bit like a disappointment, as I do feel really thick.

I am also all by myself. With a boyfriend that loves me to bits - but in London and that makes me feel low every time I speak to him - because he just ends up reminding me he is so far away and that I am completely alone.

Don't know anyone here, so this is the perfect time to be buring myself in work, but I do feel a bit weird. In my B&B room, with a shit internet from BT Openzone and watching a bit of telly, I am going to take a shower and go to bed soon.

Be wonderful today and look in the mirror - you're beautiful!