Back from holiday

Back from holiday hey? Aren't you supposed to be fresh from your time off, with all your batteries charged and ready to take on work again with a new perspective, with new initiatives...? 

And all that twaddle...

On my way back home on the train, I am exhausted, in a vicious need to sleep and generally be happy and enjoy things. 

The big holiday was restful in the first few days and after that when being at the seaside, the room was horribly cold. So cold that you could not walk properly because the floor was freezing - tiles, very smart idea if you want to keep a room cool, not so good if it is fucking freezing! - and the concrete Walls only made me think of a prison that someone would put you in if you were under torture and they wanted to get information out of you.

Those walls would be so god damn cold it was incredible! The room had a big window wall also that would not be properly set, so chills of wind would come in. And the bed, where you would think it would be the last hope.... The bed sheets were so cold that when you got into bed you had to lay still exactly in the position you managed to get warm after shivering your ass off and if you moved you risked to feel the coldest sheets ever and start shivering again. 

And the mattress would soft and firm - exactly in the wrong way around. Instead of being soft at the surface to provide your bones and muscles a bit of comfort, you would feel you just sat on a wooden plate!!!! And the wooden plate would somehow sink in and be bouncy on the inside in order for it not to provide any back support what so ever....

Those were the days ....

After not even sleeping in the last night there, cause the music was blasting so loudly at even 7am!!! That was of course the night that I needed some rest because I was supposed to drive for a good few hours to a friends wedding and then drive back in my home city in the same day....

Of course I got no rest...

So I am more sleep deprived than when I left in the first place!!!

And sleep deprivation makes me depressed, like in a horrible way, so first thing I wanted to do this morning is cry... And I just could not stop...

Even though outside is nice and sunny and gorgeous and I should be enjoying this, all I want to do is sleep, just sleep forever and ever and ever. Just jump outside the train into nothingness and just sleep. I want to cease to exist