P. has been confronted and admitted his wrongdoings. He has been on his best behaviour since I found out about his "being a cock" episode. Doing laundry, washing dishes, cooking, taking me out.
He has started being a bit more assertive.
I am still a mess. I have ok moments. I have bad moments.
Unfortunately, on top of it all, there are previous issues regarding his long term career, his job and pay and generally my increasing sensation of wanting to be with someone that can take me places, see the world, be able to do all the things that I want to do, without worrying about the last dime.
What else can I say? Unfortunately I can't stop thinking that I am in this contract until November. And I cannot do anything until November anyway.
And P. is doing anything to hold on to dear life - our relationship. But he has given me the perfect get away from this relationship.
Sometimes I just want out. Sometimes it's breaking my heart to see that the man I love is not able to provide me with what I need/want. What can I do? Maybe just mourn for now.
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