How Acceptance changed me

Acceptance ... I used to think that this word had some sort of negative conotation to it. Like accpeting something would be a process that would require one having a goal or wanting something and then getting something else instead would be a bad thing. 

So you would have to settle with whatever you got, like that would be some second-tier, second-hand product that someone else has binned. 

Instead, I have realised that acceptance is a much higher state of mind. This state does not require the mind to WANT something or EXPECT it as given nor DEMAND it like it owns it. Because acceptance is about freeing yourself from the limitations of desire and expectations. 

Life is made out of goals. We are all very target driven individuals. We want to get somewhere and will fight and work hard to get there. Of course, once we got there, there is no pleasure to be taken because almost instantly we move onto the next, bigger and better thing that we want. So, we are always in transit to fulfilling a wish that keeping changing. A permanently moving target. This keeps us going, this keeps us on our toes, this makes us feel alive. 

Or does it? 

Of course we live in a world of wants and needs. Otherwise, consumerism wouldn't have what to sell to us. If we all were happy with what we have, above all, if us all were happy with what we are, who would still buy and aquire things?

Acceptance means that instead of you wanting things or getting the things that you want, you would be ready for anything that you get thrown your way. You would be strong enough to accept who you are, what your qualities are as well as your weaknesses and be ready to enjoy them, embrace them, accept them. 

Acceptance is a form of freedom that is impossible to describe. You accept your past for what is was - because you cannot change it, you cannot alter it. It has made you who you are at the present time and right here, right now, you are the most perfect version of yourself. Because right now, you can change what you do and what you say. It all depends on you, this is your time. 

In the past, you might have made mistakes, you might have done things that you regret or things that you'd like to change. Back then, you were someone else and accepting that that person made those choices doesn't mean that you have to stick by them. Right now, you can make different ones. You were the best you could be then, you were perfect then, by making all those mistakes. You can be perfect now too, in a different way.

Perfection isn't this immutable notion that is meant to stay the same throughout your life and you're meant to find it. Perfection changes just like the clouds in the sky. You can be perfect right now, which might be different from being perfect a year ago. 

Accepting that fact that you can't change your past nor your future sets you free. It puts you in charge of the present, which is the only time you have anyway. It releases so much tension and so much pressure. 

Acceptance is freedom. It takes great courage and strength to accept things you cannot change. To accept things are out of your control.  We are constantly bombarded with "take charge of your life" messages, by being given so much choice and so many ways to fulfill all our desires. We are in a constant search for the bigger, the better and even if we made a choice yesterday, there is always be a bit of self doubt about a potential something better out there that we haven't got but could reach towards. 

How about what we are now? What's wrong with being happy with that? Nothing of course, it's quite beautiful. It's quite freeing. But it's not quite so easy. 

Acceptance is happiness. Accepting my lack of control over the past and the future has made me a hapier person. I am enjoying right now, I am happy with myself and I know that, no matter what I get, I am able to handle it because I will enjoy it. 

Acceptance also makes you see things from a higher perspective. How things have their own way of working themselves out. How things are so bad afterall. How all those "tragedies" that we think are going to happen if we don't get what we think we want aren't that dramatic anyway. How amazing human beings are for adapting, surviving and hoping despite any conditions.