Relationships and complexity

I've decided to write about my problems that I've faced from being a single girl in London to being in the probably most committed relationship that I've ever been in my life. The good times and the bad times. The fights, the moments that were near break ups, the ones that we didn't know if we were going to make it. 

There are so many ups and downs in a relationship. You are always told that when you will find your ONE, you will just know. You will just match beautifully and you will read each others thoughts and finish your sentences. It will all feel natural and easy and just work. 

Bulshit. That's all I can tell you. It's all bulshit. 

And it's keeping your away from growing and sharing and giving your heart away. It's making you believe things should be easy when, in fact, they are not. That things just come to you in a perfect state and they just work. Out of nowhere, simply and easily. And it's reaching you to be lazy. Not to strive, not to work harder and harder and it's just giving you a false sense of security. 

I can only speak for my experience, but relationships are never easy. They are beautiful and amazing. But never easy. You can have wonderful times of un imagined connections, intimacy and pure love. But things always go wrong. Things are always complicated and quite often, things seem to not have a way out. But they do, in the end, they always do. 

It's normal. What can you expect when you put 2 people together from 2 completely different cultures and different backgrounds, from 2 hemispheres ? Of course you're going to have differences. Humans are so complex, so intricate. You can never find the same in 2 people. Hell, you won't even have the same person being the same with 2 different people. Because we adapt, we change conforming to our environment. People around us bring different aspects out and so we are never the same. 

Stationary is dead. It's good that we are dynamic. But that's what makes relationships difficult also. You have different expectations, associations, stereotypes and various ways of learning, approaching situations, solving problems. It's enough that men and women are predisposed to certain hormones linked behaviour, but just to make things more complicated, all those roles and assumptions are also changing. 

So where does it all leave us? With communication, with trying and hoping, sometimes failing, stumbling and falling down. Sometimes lost in the dark, thinking love will light the way. Other times pretending until we know what's truth and what's lie. It leaves us exposed and vulnerable. In fear. In love. It leaves us human.