Might sound a bit nuts, but I really do think that an affair can actually help you, as well as your current relationship.
One important way that having a fling with someone else (other than your partner) is self esteem. Arguably, you can do very well in that area, but it's sometimes very hard to stay like that. Causes might be external to the relationship: stress, temporary situations that don't feel empowering. In my experience, it most likely comes because you don't feel so good about yourself anymore due to being in a relationship that is constantly "seeking improvement" or simply criticising, putting you down or never being quite good enough, no matter how much you try.
If that's the case, then being with someone else can be quite refreshing. The fling could be on a scale, so it doesn't even have to be a full-on sleeping with someone else. But you could be flirting, talking, getting friends and getting to know eachother a bit more, just kissing, just dating... Anything is fine. Just go as far or as little as you feel comfortable in order for you not to feel guilty, because that's an even worse position to be in your current relationship. Guilt will only lead to the balance of the relationship to tip even more to one side or the other and eventually just become unsustainable.
The most important thing is that your newly acquired "interaction" makes you feel good about yourself. This new person is all about fun, joking, flirting. It could be about just physical attraction. A fling like that will make you feel courted again (mainly because your current relationship has stopped doing that), it will make you feel attractive again (because your current relationship might not). It will make you feel desirable (as this new guy will be wanting you, badly, fantasising about you) and to be the object of someone's desire like that, to be the focus of a man's dreams and most intimate wants is nice. The attention that you will get from him is nurturing you, is making you feel better for getting up in the morning and paying attention to what you wear and what you look like.
It's making you feel awesome for just waking up. It's making you happy and joyous. It's giving you revitalising energy. All of the cells in your body are experiencing a state of bliss. You might smile for no reason, you might be daydreaming for no reason. The trees will be greener and the birds will sing softer.
Now, this is where affairs are also good for your relationship. Your body chemistry will change. You will literally be more beautiful and more attractive. To the new guy as well as your present guy. He will start noticing you a bit more because you look better. He will start wanting you more because you will have that something that says "come and get me". You will also feel more confident and more independent (because you're focusing on the new guy) and your partner will feel that. They will want to get your attention back and seduce you again.
You might even seduce them. Now, eve more than ever, your new body chemistry is giving your a reboot. Your sexual appetite is enhanced. And your partner can fully benefits from this new, more attractive, more confident and more sexy woman that he is discovering.
Another great aspect that a fling will give you is context for comparison. You thought your boyfriend is annoying in several ways and does this or that wrong. With the new guy, you can contrast and compare. You will soon realise what the good aspects are about your boyfriend as well as his misgivings. The more time you spend with the new guy, you realise about their own shortcomings and that nobody is perfect. And you can appreciate both for exactly who they are and all of their aspects, as well as yourself.
One more subtle benefit from being in such a situation is that you get to practice mindfulness. It's a skill and it's a muscle. The more you do it, the easier in becomes. The more you do it in one aspect of your life, the more you can apply it to other areas of your life. And it's a skill that's very handy to have. It will make your life better and fuller, in every single way.
It's the practice of being totally and fully in the present moment. The only moment you have, the only moment you are in. Whatever you are doing now, it's worth your full attention. Constantly asking yourself "what's great about this moment, right now?" sets your mind onto a wonderful path. The fact that your are sharing a moment with your partner or doing work or walking down the street, all of these and many more are opportunities to be fully present. To see all the beautiful aspects of someone, to look at the buildings around you, to become better at something or more knowledgeable. You can interact with your new fling and fully concentrate on this new guy that is beguiled by your persona. Take in all of his energy and all of his desire. Take in the admiration and the adoration that he has for you. You deserve it. You are a beautiful person.
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