A close match

Furious and violent, ground breaking and unrestrained, that is how he is. I cannot argue with nature. But then nothing would be the same and our long talks would seem an endless line of words, failing to have substance. Sometimes I dream of some peace and quite, but my mind would not remain so alert all the time. It is exhausting, to play the Buckingham guard and pretend you don't need a break. I guess too much of everything is a spoil anyway. You sort of get used, you develop antibodies and then it's all second nature. Your reactions become the same, they follow the synapse created in your head a long time ago as an automated response to that gesture or that precise word.

A little bit of both is always a good mix, but you can never have this perfect balance of what you need and what you want. Cause then it would all be a mess and nobody would ever know their priorities from their duties any more. I guess it is meant to be a quest as a journey is far more interesting than the one moment when you realise there is nothing worth getting out of bed for. Somebody I know mentioned the other day a most surprising thing: 'I play my computer games because there is nothing in my real world that I like'. I found that utterly insane, coming from a 28 year old guy. But then again, what is sane? One can only assume all sorts of things and I can assure you the most boring definition is given by psychology itself. You can always talk about the balance between emotions and reason, but such a fragile object is bound to fall and break.

And then you scream, scream as loud as you can, from the bottom of your lungs until that shiver has reached your little toe at your left leg. Or you can make a rational decision and put everything to an end because the list with pros and cons told you to. It was a close win though, just by one point.