One of the “activities”, if I may call it that, on my list was speed dating. So I attended a singles event that also had speed dating included in it. These are my thoughts and impressions after that evening.
The event started at 7 with registration (sign in and name badge). Then a photo for a photo wall – this was meant to be a wall with participants’ photos that you could attach flirt cards to. There was also a lock and key activity – which was basically to give people an excuse to go to a girl and see if their key fitted into her lock! Yes, that’s probably the only night of the year a girl will not slap you if you said that to her.
There were 30 min slots for speed dating allocated in a different area of the place.
And then… the awkward part starts. When you go into the “socialising area”, but as you don’t know anyone… you hit the bar. What else can you do?Might as well drink something to give you a bit more courage or a bit more ignorance. What the hell were you thinking? Coming here, on your own, without knowing anyone…. It’s suicide.
Then, after you got your drink at the bar, you have to turnaround and face the room. You take a look around at the people already here and everyone is looking around. Then you notice the short, geeky guy next to you and you realise that you’ve just smiled at him because… why did you just do that? Well, because that’s what you normally do. You smile to people, get a smile back perhaps and move on, you don’t have to talk to them.
But whoops, here you do. So here he goes, turns his head to you and starts talking to you. Now, of course, you keep smiling and saying things back. But actually you’re just asking yourself, once started a conversation with a guy that you’re not really that interested in, how to you stop it?
I am pretty sure I’ve read all the instructions, it didn’t have any useful tips and tricks on how to be polite but end the conversation cause you want to move on to some other guy. I try to think fast, If the conversation moves naturally to an end, then you can just say “Thanks, it was nice talking to you, see you later”. But this guy seems to be able to talk all night to me,so I can’t just interrupt him. And that’s when it hits me: ladies room. I say “sorry, I need to go to the ladies”. He can’t stop me or say anything.
So, I make a swift move towards the loos and I keep thinking when I come out again into play how to avoid this situation. The problem is you can’t. If you stand around, waiting for a guy that you would like to speak to,to come to you, you might actually just be approached by another guy. So, you have to do it yourself.
The problem is that there seems to be some sort of unwritten rule: when a man talks to a woman, no other man or woman shall disturb them,unless they are friends. So, if the guy you fancy talking to is already engaged with someone else, you can’t just go and talk to him. So, before you look for another guy to go and talk to, another guy has taken his shot at you – he’s already said hi and you have to talk to them now.
On the bright side, the whole place has got the best atmosphere ever. Everyone is going up to strangers and talking to them.Everyone is laughing and in a good mood. It’s one of the best places I’ve been you can just get high off people’s smiles and nice attitudes. In a normal bar,you don’t go up and talk to strangers. Even if you work up the courage, then they are very likely to have a gf/bf already.
Which is exactly not the place here. You see, everyone here is looking for a bit of fun, maybe a person to go out on a date after, but nobody is taking themselves too seriously.
In some of these conversations with people you find someones that are funnier and better spirited that you would’ve thought. Some people are a lot shier than they look, others a lot more sincere and straightforward. With some, despite the fact that you want to talk to, you never find them available because they are always talking to someone for the 10 seconds you’re not. Then, at the end of the night, they come up to you, out of nowhere and say “Hi” and you’re thinking “thank God you found me cause I had given upon you”.
I tried to be open-minded and talk to people for the sake o fhaving conversation and finding out new and interesting ways. But in practice,it’s a lot harder to do. Because if you don’t have any chemistry or anything in common, then you just find yourself saying “sorry, I need to go to the ladies” more than you wanted.
On the other hand, I did try and speak to all the guys that were suitably tall enough for me to see them as men, not straight as “a-sexual friends”. But just because they were tall didn’t mean they were intelligent in any way.
The speed-dating sessions were very repetitive and futile.You ask the same questions and get the same answers and you’re not even interested in ever speaking to those people again in your life, but as you don’t get a choice with who to talk to, then you’re just stuck at that table, while the next guy comes along and all it makes me think of is the industrial era and how Ford invented the production line.
Overall, I can say it was one of the most demanding things I have ever done socially. I was so tired, like I had been exercising for 5hours. But you would never get to speak to so many people and find out so many things or be laughing so much in such a short amount of time. I don’t regret any moment of it.
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