A week in London

I have been in London for a whole week, job hunting and went to an interview, had another telephone one, and I am now on my way back home. I feel really sad for leaving P and leaving "us" here in London.

Fair enough, I have got a nice job and some nice colleagues to be going back to, but I feel so guilty for trying to find another job and lying to them. I know that this is the process of it all, I need to take time off work, find another job so I can leave my present one. But it's bullshit!

These people have been so nice to me, have put so much effort in training me, have given me a chance that I would've never got in London and now I am leaving.... It's such a crap feeling because the job is great, people are great and I am really happy with I am doing but it's not in the right location. The stupid location....

I wish that I had enough money to be able to just leave my job, move to London and be able to properly job hunt without lying and hiding from the people that I like and respect. But of course, I don't so I have to do this.

I can only hope that I will pass to the second stage of these interviews and that I will get the job that I really want. I know that I am asking for quite. But here but I think that it's not that far fetched.... Because this job fits my skills, I really liked the 2 people that interviewed me, a woman and a man and they liked me too. I am sooo hoping they'll ask me back to a second interview and then all of this will be over.

I will be able to find a place to move in with P and just settle for a few years until we decide what and if our dreams will happen.

If anything, this week in London has given he a preview of what out life in London would be and I loved it. I like the busy streets, the people, the adverts and dynamic atmosphere. Yes, it all comes with a price tag, but I loved being with P and loved being in this atmosphere. Yes, I should've come here eight after uni, yes, I should've thought through my life a bit better, but all for a reason, I believe.

For now, I am returning to shitty st.helens and hoping this week I will hear positive news about the job. I will go to Frankfurt's motor show and attend some conferences and then before you know it, it will be Friday and I will hopefully be able to make plans to have my second stage interviews in London. So in a week and a half, I will be here and I will have to get that job. I just have to. There is no room for failure here.

I have only left 20 min ago but I am missing it already