s.

I forgot how it is to fall in love. I forgot how you can't stop thinking of a person all day long. I forgot how it is not to apply British rules of not replying to text messages because you want to be seen that you're busy or whatever other bulshit. I forgot how it is not to take things too intense too soon or worry about how you come across all the time rather than just do it.

Do whatever stupid thing is that you want to do - write messages (in this case e-mails) when you go to sleep and the first thing in the morning. Send silly songs that express things, send thoughts and emotions and all of you, but in a subtle way. Because you will have common sense and sensitivity not to show too much in any case because of an instinctive fear of being hurt. But don't apply rational "dating rules" that you read in a book on top of that. That makes it fake and robotic.

I forgot how falling in love feels. Taking a deep breath and closing your eyes and want that person to be there with you. You would give anything for them to be close to your body, be able to touch them, be able to talk to them.

We haven't even gone beyond kissing. But still, when I close my eyes, I still miss him like I've spent all my life with this guy and my mind organically wants to be with him.

Falling in love is impossible to put into words. You forget about any rational, logic thought that you've ever had. Are you compatible? Does he meet the 5 must haves and The 5 deal breakers? I can't even remember what those were. I couldn't care less.

I want to kiss him, I want him to want me so much that he would lose himself. I want him to long for me so much that he can't think of anything else. I want him to close his eyes and feel my smell deep into his brain.

I can't stop thinking of him. No matter what I do, every thought process is geared towards something to do with him. S. has taken over any rationality that I had. For the first time in years, I am falling in love. With a guy that has a girlfriend.