How much is that puppy in the window?

Self discipline is something that I always preach to other people. Moderation, patience,balance. It's often been very easy for me to have self-discipline when it comes to studying, or when I am in my job. I am very good at that because I've been doing it all my life.

Despite everything, when it comes down to it, I will forget about anything else and deliver at my job or study for an exam, no questions asked, fully focused and committed. This is what I've been taught. This is what I know how to do.

I always say to people that its never easy, but you never get anywhere in life taking the easy way. So fight and choose the hard way.

This all sounds good. But how do I apply my own philosophy in my personal life and how can the two be so separate that I apply different principles with them?

I have never had self-discipline when it comes to my personal life. Perhaps, I have never cared enough about to have any. Or by the time I got to the caring bit it was too late.

Let me tell you a story. A little girl, a spoiled little girl sees this new toy in the window. She passes this window all the time, but this time there is a new toy in there. And simply because it's new, she wants it desperately  In fact, she sets her mind that this toy is going to be hers.  

And then the games begin. The play starts and she is playing beautifully. She gets so much into the role that she forgets her initial thought of I really want this toy and will stop at nothing to get it. She forgets that. 

Now, after a while playing the game, she actually believes that is the only toy she needs to be happy. That specifically that toy is exactly what she was always looking for and she feels privileged to have come across it from all the toys and the windows in the world. 

Cause, you see, the best results come when you believe so much in what you're doing, that you're not even aware that you're doing it. The finest craftsmanship, the finest emotions, the best works of art. 

So, eventually, she gets the toy. Cause this girl has always got whatever she wants in her life, all the time. 

And now, just now, she starts having a closer look at the toy. And the more she plays with HER toy now, she starts to see flaws with it. Flaws that couldn't possibly be there, cause you see... this toy, just this toy was perfect for her. She gives it some time. She tries to understand what is wrong with the toy. 

She might even try to fix it. Tear it apart and put it back again, just in the hope that, this time, it might work fine. That all will be perfect, just as she saw it the first time in the toy. 

Eventually, after many failed tries and giving up hope that this toy will ever be as good as she thought, she decides she has to get rid of the toy. She cries so much, cause she cared so much about the toy, she had such hopes for it, but there is nothing that can be done at this stage, as the little girl has already given up. And when she has given up hope, the toy is forever lost. 

Now, I have to avoid doing this all over again, with a new shiny toy that I've just found in the window. Because I will end up breaking another toy's heart, as well as mine. Where do you break the cycle? At what point do you decide to walk away from the shop and forget about that nice toy? 

And how do you not question yourself, regretting that you haven't lived and experienced things that you could've. When do you stop living for the moment because the moment is so sweet and just walk away because of what's gonna come?