It is not true that pain and suffering gives rise to creativity. I used
to think that I am most creative, therefore writing more and cresting
more physical output when I am in pain, when I feel anguish and
suffering. When I am not happy.
Now, I am happy. I could write
now for decades. I could write for hours, for days and weeks and months
and still feel I've got some writing to do because I couldn't just quite
express it all. But then, how do you express that ineffable? How do you
express the inexpressible?
This shall be experienced not described.
This
shall be whenever, wherever, free from the boundaries of geography or
the notion of time. For me, it shall happen in a beautiful place, just
outside Cancun, Mexico. For me, it shall come I'm the form of 2 human
weeks in time. It shall be funny, it shall be confusing, it shall be
hard and opposing. Kicking and screaming. It shall be fallen. An angel
will fall into its own despair. And then it shall rise. Out of freedom,
it shall open its wings and become one with the universe, setting off
for the flight of a lifetime.
The joy of the world is in me, the
beauty of the world is in me, the happiness of the world is in me, the
gratitude of the world is in me, the peace of the world is in me, the
love of the world is in me. I am in the joy of the world, I am the
beauty of the world, I am the happiness of the world, I am the gratitude
of the world, I am the peace of the world, I am the love in the world.
The
flow of the energy that I am feeling is now present, it is real and
it's within me. I am the universe, I am the power of all good and I am
here now. I am all that I can be and all that I have ever been. I am all
that I will ever be right now. I am.
There are moments in your life. Moments of joy. Moments of magic. And these moments could be life changing. They could move you to your deepest core. There are people in your life. People who simply transcend humanity and time and space. People who by their simple presence can make you be. Humans who transform into angels, angels who become human and they have the potentiality of the universe in their beautiful minds. These are people who change your life.
I feel more awake, more aware, more happy
and more alive than I have ever felt in my life. I feel I am walking
into thin air, on this air, I am air. I am the energy and it is all
flowing through me.
Even walking on the street, I walk slower.
My mind is so exapnsive that its sheer limitless is pure energy. Instead
of letting my mind wonder with a poster there, a siren there, another
red car going by and all these multitude of thoughts, I am now able to
focus. To feel things that I have never felt before. To see things in a
focused way and not lose my path. I can look around me and hold my hand
into the present, watching all my thoughts go by, as they are coming and
as they are going.
My thoughts are not me, I am my thoughts. I
can breathe and with one single breath they are gone. I am my breath. I
am in and I am out. I can see things so clearly with my expanded mind,
with a perspective that feel is universal, from eternity into this very
present moment. I am here, but it's like I've always been here. All my
life and all that I will be.
I create, I think, I feel. I am God, I am the peace of the world, I am the love of the world. I am just starting. I am just at the beginning. I am expanding, I am growing. I am absorbing and I am here.
I am the violin and I am the violinist. Energy is moving me and I can play the energy. I am everything and I am nothing, I am all connected with every single cell in my body, and every single cell in my body is connected to all that is in the universe. I am here to bow. I am here to serve. I am here to fulfil my being. I am here to expand and become one. Become stillness. Become myself.
I
unfold and I discover. I move and I become. I can be all the colours of
the world at once and I can be none. I am light and I am the object, as
the flow sets me in motion or puts me into stillness I can let go. Of
suffering, of pain, of anguish, of frustration, of fear. I can let go of
the lack of love that I have for myself. I can embrace who I am right
now and see the perfection of my limitless mind. I can accept who I have
been and I can face fear. Fear of being hurt, fear of hurting other
people. Fear of not being good enough, fear of failing, fear of
disappointing others and myself. Fear of commitment. Fear of feelings
and fear of people.
Fear of repeating past actions that have
made me hate myself so much. Letting go of hate for myself and being
able to embrace myself, for all that I can be is right now.
I am free. Free like I have always wanted to be. But the kind of freedom that doesn't come from from other people, the kind of freedom that doesn't come from our actions, the kind of freedom that you don't grab or earn, but the freedom that comes from within, the freedom that is just given to you by your own soul and by the entire universe and the freedom that you can only experience when you are ready to love yourself.
I am here. I am now. I am acceptance and I am open.
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