Is this what every girl wants to hear? I am not sure about that, but this is what I wanted and needed to hear from a true man. This is, for me, true freedom and true courage, true strength and, above all, true love.
To love someone to the point where you cannot restrict their freedom, because this goes against your heart and your beliefs, even if this might mean you might lose them, even if it could be end of a beautiful connection that your heart desires and craves for. Despite your best interests, you love someone at a complete level of freedom. Beyond yourself, beyond personal interest.
Only real, honest, open and truly enlightened men will ever be able to say something like or think like that. Only those who are in so tune with the universe, so purely giving and selfless, only very few and very special people.
Adam has said that to me. Not because he wanted to be with other people. Not because this was something that he desired, not because he wasn't fully committed to give everything to our relationship. He went beyond. He gave himself away and put freedom and love and truth to replace that. He became freedom, choice, courage, joy and truth.
He hasn't said that because he was too scared he was going to lose me otherwise. He hasn't said that because he knew that's what I wanted to hear. Instead, he said that with conviction, taking the risk that I will say "ok, that's great, let's sleep around with other people because I'm not ready to commit". And then all the beauty in our relationship and everything he craved for would have been slowly gone. He was prepared to lose me, to lose himself and his openness, all in the name of freedom and love.
What do you do when you are faced with such magnificence? What can you do when you are embraced by freedom and love?
You bow at the Gods. You bow at the universe and you admire. Perplexed at its beauty and its power.
And, for the first time in your life, you choose. You freely, openly, lovingly choose not to. And you realise right then and there, surrounded by wood, freshly cooked warm food, children playing around and the noise of laughter, you realise the beautiful gift you received. And you can only be grateful. For being able to choose to receive it.
To be able to go down one path, a path that does not feel limiting, but enhancing. Each experience with Adam is enriching for my soul, it's nourishing for my heart and it's enhancing for my whole being. The choice to continue on this path couldn't be more obvious. Why would I need to be seeing other people? If that's going to limit my exposure to such beauty and such openness, if that's going to take away from this growth. It's simple maths. I gain more as a person from being with one amazing man than a bunch of mediocre ones.
This is liberating. Being able to choose in such freedom and not feel that you're compromising, not feel that you're limiting and not feel that you have been cornered into something that you don't wish, something that is not your own truth. To be able to make the choice yourself. To become freedom and become wisdom and become truth. And then you close your eyes and thank the universe for offering you this amazing chance. To choose. To live. To grow. To love. To be.
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